The poem written below is so sappy, I laughed when I read it today. Haha!

Random thoughts lately:
1. When watching mice in our experimental animal facility, I've noticed that all they ever do is... (a) eat, (b) copulate, (c) fight. Which, to me, represents the animalistic side of life... or the Lockean state of nature. For mice, it's just that simple. I'm glad that for us, there's more to this life than living and dying, more than just trying to make it though the day (SC Chapman).

2. Male mice force female mice to copulate, and females always run away at first. Why isn't it the other way around, like, females going after the males? And why don't they both go after each other? Does it physically hurt the females or what? Hmmm?

3. The pre-believers in my lab exhibit some similar traits: (a) they swear a lot, (b) they're not truly/madly/deeply loving to one another, (c) and they lie casually. Part (c) is what completely throws me off because I assume people are always telling me the truth, but they lie about the darndest stuff.

4. I have this feeling that God is going to do something amazing at my company. He's placed faithful believers in key areas of the Institute. We have a believers in maintenance, finance, and dispersed throughout the labs. Sweet!

5. Even though I need to use mice for my experiments, I never want to lose compassion for them. It's easy to do that in this job, and numbing oneself to their pain makes the job easier. But, I don't want to harden my heart to them ever. I will definitely do my job well, but I always want to hurt when they hurt.

Slightly edited

Using scripture to steal...

I coworker shared about a family member using Paul's reference of performing good works to take his stuff, like clothes. They looked back at the scripture about turning the other cheek and giving clothes to those in need to justify taking stuff from my coworkers house. This was my letter to him later that day:

"Done with business, onto fellowship today. I felt that your brother using scripture to take things from you stems not from the scripture itself, but your relationship with him. Perhaps that is the heart of the matter, in the sense that there may be unresolved issues/ hurts/ bitterness from the past. It's hard to imagine someone using a passage that clearly encourages love as a tool for greed and right out theft except if the scripture is not the issue on hand. Or perhaps I'm speaking out of place, since I know nothing about your relationship with your brother except for the few words you said today.

Nevertheless, I feel that our witness and relationship with others can be so loving. I know I'm young and idealistic (and naive), but I'd like people to look at me beyond a "not bad" person and see Christ by our passion/ caring/ love for other brothers and for the lost. For me, it's not enough for people to not see me as evil, that's just the tip of the iceberg. The rest is showering them with love.

Most importantly, I write this letter as a word of encouragement because of your heart for your family. They will be in my prayers as well. It's a blessing for us to have fellowship like we do every once in a while. Thank you for your questions and wisdom, my brother.

With you eternally,
David An

Talk is cheap...
Two weeks ago I was convicted that talk was cheap. I had watched a video evangelist speak so eloquently to a group of stoic old people. He said so many intellectually deep and challenging things, it was hard to take notes of the concepts... which made me realize that it became worthless. Okay, so worthless is an extreme word to use. Let's say it became cheapened.

The contrast is my experience in a charismatic church called Shiloh, where a former drug dealer turned pastor spoke about seeking the Lord in the most basic and pure way. I still remember this sermon from 3 months ago over the video intellectual from 3 weeks ago. He spoke the word of truth through our circumstances that was so real to us we could taste it. It was so meaningful, and we were moved to love others as we grew more and more sensitive to the Holy Spirit that night.

So, I conclude that talk is cheap. Or, more-so, intellectual jargon and mere concepts. To love others deeply and to seek the Lord unswervingly stems from a passion that moves beyond mere words. As I heard those intellectual words echo through the silent room that day, I realized that God was moving in a different and real was in our hearts. So I'm going to quit talking, and start loving and seeking wholeheartedly. Talk is cheap.

The Echo...
The concept that our prayers are an echo of God's desire. This was tough for me to grasp last night as Samantha went on her monologue describing the Echo. This applied to our "shady" prayer requests such as requests that we feel to be selfish. But perhaps our prayers are God's desires that He is leading us to ask, which is completely in line with His plans and will.

The example last night was praying for someone else's girlfriend/boyfriend, which I'm 100% against doing. But the idea was that maybe God wants us to ask for things we truly desire, so that He can guide our path and will through the process of seeking. Even if what we desire is shady, such as someone else's girlfriend. That in the end He will work through our prayers so that His plans are done. Hmmm. I'm still thinking about this one. But the echo concept sounds amazing.

So I immediately asked Daniel to back it up scripturally, so he referred to Hannah and Samuel's story where she offered to give God her son if God would give her a son. God did. She did. Samuel, one of the greatest prophets was born. God wanted her to ask Him for something that seemed selfish so that His will would be done. Amazing...

~David An

Signed up for blog because I wanted to record what God was teaching me day by day.