Lost mouse tail & spleen on the ground...

I snipped small parts of tail off of 49 anesthetized mice yesterday for pcr. Then, on my way back to the lab, I dropped all of the tubes on the ground. Luckily they all had snap tops to secure the tail in the tube. So I looked so strange crawling around on my hands and knees with my face to the ground trying to find a piece of tail. When people walked by, I'd kneel upright to look more "normal." Hmmm, sad.

This morning I came at 7 and accidentally caused post doc to drop spleen. But gotta go.

Her splinter, my plank

Sat down last night with Christian sister S-- and looked at her resume. I wanted to help her find a job, which necessitates her knowing God's calling/direction, and motivation. There wasn't much of either, which made the atmosphere heavy and intimidating. I was trying to make it lighthearted, but it was one of those deeper/serious issues in life. But you have to know where I'm coming from...

I have detailed plans for the rest of my life: immuno research next yr or two, M Div from seminary within that time, med school following, meet girl 1st yr med school, married 2nd yr of med school, adopt 3 kids (Hispanic, Af Am, Cauc.), named 4 of my kids (Ester, Cherish, Emmanual, David [after King David]), med missions for several years in China, S. Africa, E Europe, Kosovo. Retire from med and go into mission field again, where I will pass away. Detailed eh?

Proverbs: In his heart a man makes his plans, but God directs his path. Above list is all of my narrow-minded/short-sighted plans. Especially about meeting the girl in 1st yr med, yeah right I have any control over that.

So, according to my personality type, I didn't really understand what the problem was. Why didn't she have it all worked out. Well, rarely are people as psychotic as myself. Plus, there is an important lesson for me to learn in all of this. You see, I cannot budget for the life of me. I make good money but it disappears miraculously. I owe people big time, as well. What the heck! I don't excessively shop or even go to movies for that matter. But my sister talks to me with the same tone of voice like I talked to S-- last night. My sister is a master budgeter. She can't understand my irresponsibility. I become a whipped puppy when my sister trashes my financial irresponsibility. So... as S-- was, so am I.

Last night after coming to this realization, I sat down and wrote down a budget for the first time. Amazingly my next paycheck disappeared into the redline and expenses owed instantly. But at least I get to see it before it happened this time, instead of as it's happening. Though really, I've learned to be more responsible because I've seen my own inadequacy, which makes me more compassionate and understanding when it comes to helping S-- for she is a dear sister to me.

Human dissection = calling ex.

Almost exactly six months ago I told my ex that we shouldn't call/talk/email/see each other for 6 months so that I could love her as a friend. I thought it would be enough time. Plus, she had a new boyfriend so this was a wise decision. I actually got the idea from A--, a friend from church who tried the same with a guy she had a crush on and it worked for her. So I gave it a shot.

Six months later was 2 days ago. Up until that time I was terrified of that day... her birthday, which was the day I promised to call her. I sent a short/surfacy emails to test the waters and finally gave her a call after praying with non-Christian friends (figured it would be good witness to pray with them). We talked briefly, I was amazingly calm. It was cool. We talked more the next day, and that's when I started to get that strange and familiar tug on my heart. Two strange things she asked me were: "Does this feel strange?" Response: "No." and "Are you mad at me?" Response: "No."

Didn't know why she would think I was mad at her. Yes, I've been frustrated with her in the past sometimes, but never mad at her. I don't really get that mad at people in general. In the three years that we dated, we only argued once on move-out day sophomore year. Then we hugged/apologized/made up minutes later.

All in all, it was a good conversation, except I have this thing where I need a Christian brother in the room with me when I talk to her so I don't get weird, you know. But this experience totally reminds me of the time I took at human dissection course at Beijing Medical University. I've always wanted to be a doctor, but I've only guessed how I'd respond after seeing my first cadaver. It's one of those things you don't know until it happens to you. Would I cry? Throw up? Freak out? Eat it (haha!)? When I saw the cadaver, I was curious, calm, and completely alright as I examined the neural network. Which reminds of how my talks with Jenn have been... a big mystery, but ultimately good.