Human dissection = calling ex.

Almost exactly six months ago I told my ex that we shouldn't call/talk/email/see each other for 6 months so that I could love her as a friend. I thought it would be enough time. Plus, she had a new boyfriend so this was a wise decision. I actually got the idea from A--, a friend from church who tried the same with a guy she had a crush on and it worked for her. So I gave it a shot.

Six months later was 2 days ago. Up until that time I was terrified of that day... her birthday, which was the day I promised to call her. I sent a short/surfacy emails to test the waters and finally gave her a call after praying with non-Christian friends (figured it would be good witness to pray with them). We talked briefly, I was amazingly calm. It was cool. We talked more the next day, and that's when I started to get that strange and familiar tug on my heart. Two strange things she asked me were: "Does this feel strange?" Response: "No." and "Are you mad at me?" Response: "No."

Didn't know why she would think I was mad at her. Yes, I've been frustrated with her in the past sometimes, but never mad at her. I don't really get that mad at people in general. In the three years that we dated, we only argued once on move-out day sophomore year. Then we hugged/apologized/made up minutes later.

All in all, it was a good conversation, except I have this thing where I need a Christian brother in the room with me when I talk to her so I don't get weird, you know. But this experience totally reminds me of the time I took at human dissection course at Beijing Medical University. I've always wanted to be a doctor, but I've only guessed how I'd respond after seeing my first cadaver. It's one of those things you don't know until it happens to you. Would I cry? Throw up? Freak out? Eat it (haha!)? When I saw the cadaver, I was curious, calm, and completely alright as I examined the neural network. Which reminds of how my talks with Jenn have been... a big mystery, but ultimately good.